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Why Friends Sabotage Your Success and What To Do About It

By November 11, 2014 No Comments

Does it ever feel like every time you gain momentum and start to make progress in a program, some of your friends and family start to sabotage your efforts? You are not alone and this is one of the huge reasons why it can be tough to stick with a program.

Here’s how it usually goes. You are doing great. You are in the right mindset now—you believe that change is possible and that you are worth the effort. You understand your BIG WHY and use that to keep yourself motivated every day.  You eliminated the foods that are making you fat and started eating the foods that will keep your body in fat-burning mode. You changed up your exercise routine and, while you are actually spending less time exercising, you are stronger, have more energy and you feel better.

You’ve been at it for 6 weeks and inches are dropping and your clothes fit better. You are excited and want to tell people about your success. But slowly, some of your friends who were excited for you in the beginning are starting to pull back. They may tell you that you look too skinny. Or they may give you a hard time if you want to drink water instead of alcohol or soda. Maybe you hear that you are no fun if you don’t want to go out drinking. Some may say, “We want the old you back—what happened to the fun Sarah?”

People naturally resist change, especially if it highlights the unhealthy choices that they themselves are still making. Your success draws attention to their own failures. The people, the environment, and the community that you have around you are huge indicators of whether you will succeed or fail in the long run–together, they make up my fourth pillar of success. Because despite your best efforts, it is incredibly difficult to maintain progress when everything and everyone around you is conspiring (often unknowingly) to hold you back.

Part of the solution is to have a serious talk. Share with them why you want to make these changes in your life and ask them to support you in that. If they are unwilling to support you, you may have to distance yourself or step back from that relationship. Part of the solution may be to cultivate new friendships and relationships with others who share your values and who can support you on your journey.

We started Fit Moms for Life to make it easier for people to find and create those communities of support. We have over 100 local groups around North America now, and new groups are forming every week. We would love to have you join us! Learn more here. If you are interested in facilitating a FM4L 6 week challenge group, helping people live their best lives and getting paid to do so, click here to learn more about this opportunity.