I remember a time back in grade school when I was devastated because when the school nurse weighed everyone I was the only person in my class who did not weigh at least 100 pounds. I never dreamed that someday I would be so frustrated because I had become so overweight that I needed to lose more than 100 pounds. I look at pictures of me prior to having children and realize how healthy I was then. Then I look at pictures
over the childrearing days and I see how much I allowed my weight to become out of control. And now as a grandmother I so regret I don’t have the energy or ability to play with my grandchildren but only sit and watch as they play. Many times over the years I did lose 20–30 pounds only to regain it all back plus more, along with more frustration, self doubt and fear of failure each time. And even after total knee replacement surgery I still could not find my way to finally take control of my health. It wasn’t until my sister was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that I finally found my motivation. I watched her courageously stare cancer in the face with the attitude that “it can stop me but it will have to catch me first”. She lived the last 17 months of her life making each day the best she could with passion and a feisty attitude that she was not going to give in without giving it her best, even knowing that no matter how hard she tried she could not change the end result. Finally one day I asked her how she managed to do that. She simply said that when she didn’t feel like doing what she needed to do she looked in the mirror and said “and just why not”. Those words rang over and over in my mind for months.
My middle son is an entrepreneur and I had asked him many times to recommend something or someone to help me lose weight. He sent me several books over time and I had also bought others I thought would be helpful, but none had spoken to me beyond reading them and storing the information. Then he sent me Dustin’s book “Fit Moms for Life ”. I read the first 3 chapters and called my son saying how much I liked what I had read. He relayed my words to Dustin who in return told my son to have me go to his website and start receiving his free newsletter, which I did (my first step to taking action). It was in Dustin’s newsletter that I was introduced to the initial Killer Kurves (K2) program on-line. But it took me several months (procrastinating and I still had not read past the first three chapters of Dustin’s book) before I showed the offer to my son and asked him if he thought I could do it. He said he would relay my concerns to Dustin. I told him to be sure and tell Dustin that I was 66 years old, needed to lose at least 100 pounds, had full knee replacement surgery on my right knee about 1 year ago and recently injured my left knee (more procrastination and self-doubt). A few minutes later my son said he had an answer from Dustin. I was expecting all kinds of answers in reply but not the one I got. Dustin answered with only one word–absolutely!
So there it was. I had backed myself into a corner. How could I not at least try? My son had recommended his friend and my sister’s words were echoing in my head. If I failed I not only failed myself but I would be letting Dustin down (you can’t be more reassuring than “absolutely”) and in turn letting my son down who recommended his friend. And if my sister could live life with pancreatic cancer and have such a positive attitude I could at least give losing weight my best effort and commit to the K2 program. I had long lived my life with no compelling force that moved me to find a path to change, but change was about to happen. I am normally a rather private person so posting personal thoughts on our secure Facebook page was a big hurdle for me. For the first 3 weeks I read every post and felt a common connection to other participant’s posts and began to apply them to myself. Then with the shield of cyberspace and a trust in those who would read what I wrote, I made my first post.
I had finally found that path. K2 helped me find the tools that created the mindset for transition, and led me to let go and live the life I deserved instead of feeling unhappy, defeated, unfocused and so stuck that all I could do was brace myself for the next crisis. I found the reason why I wanted to lose weight and became committed to do it successfully instead of just wanting and hoping to lose weight. I also realized I didn’t just want to lose weight but I wanted to become generally healthier. I recognized that this program is something I can do as a lifestyle and not just until I reach my weight goal. While Dustin had preferences/suggestions about foods, he also encouraged eating what is right for me. Dustin’s attitude concerning food and the flexibility of the exercises to match my capabilities allowed me to keep trying and not quit even when it was hard or when things weren’t going well. He only expects that we do our best at all times. I found the path that allowed me to see what I could do to accomplish the changes I so desired but up until then could only wish for.
I feel very fortunate to have been introduced to the participants in session 1. They were honest, encouraging, positive thinking and helpful in so many ways. I found comfort, strength and confidence in their comments, posts, motivational pics, stories, worries and successes. There was always positive energy found there, and as I reflect back I realize the changes that happened within me. Barriers were broken, community was built, a positive mindset had been transformed, goals were set and my confidence began increasing. During the first 12 week program of K2 I lost 20 pounds. I am joining the second K2 program because I know I can do better than I have done so far, and I plan to prove that to myself in session 2 and continue my journey to reach my goal of: “HALF OF ME I WILL BE”.