…maybe you aren’t so terrible after all.
That’s how I’m starting to feel anyway. I’ve always thought of the scale as the worst enemy in my ups and downs with weight. It turns out the mirror has been as equal an enemy of mine for a very long time.
Up until last July, the only time I had stepped on a scale in the last 10 years was for annual physicals and during pregnancy. I would venture to guess it was almost the same span of time that I did not look in a full length mirror….other than the dreaded shopping trip to purchase clothes in an ever bigger size. It’s funny to think of now, but when we moved just about a year ago I actually left my full length mirror (that had been shoved to the very deepest corner of my closet) at the old house. February of last year was such a stressful time for me I was nowhere near caring about my health/fitness level and I was certain I wasn’t going to need to look in that thing again.
When I began bootcamp in July of last year, we were still outside. In October, we moved to our indoor location which is a karate studio, so one entire wall is mirrored. Because the mornings were getting so cold in October I was anxious to move inside for the season. It was probably within the first week or two that I realized I wanted to be back outside. I hated seeing my reflection. I found myself usually headed for the back of the room and trying to position myself behind someone. I just couldn’t bring myself to watch my image. By this time I had lost 15+ pounds, but I still felt just awful seeing how I truly looked from head to toe. I basically found a spot on the floor to focus on and would avoid looking at my reflection, not even to check proper form.
Fast forward a few months to the end of January…
I surprised myself last week when I realized I was actually watching myself in the mirror at bootcamp. I was checking my form! And, I was closer to the front of the class than the back!! This was a huge discovery for me. Not having willingly looked at myself in a full length mirror for so long, I am SO glad to feel like I can do that again. I still see areas of my body that I don’t like, but I now see some hard-earned toned areas, too. As far as those areas I don’t like, I’m not going to focus on them because I am determined they aren’t going to look that way for much longer!! 🙂
If you are just getting started or have been working for awhile to lose weight and get fit, know that looking at yourself in the mirror does get better, too. But it’s much more than just seeing a smaller version of yourself, it’s about seeing a you that is much happier and healthier because of the choices you are making. Stick with it…you’ll like what you see!!