Sailing Through Rough Waters

By December 8, 2010 10 Comments

This is Lara, here to check in with you again. As you may have read, I posted a public goal last week to lose 8 lbs by Christmas. I’m not going to lie to you- I think I may have been experiencing temporary insanity when I posted it! “What was I thinking?” I said to myself later… “I’m not going to be able to do it!” Yes I admit the self-doubt has crept up on me again.

I struggled with whether or not to write this because I don’t want to post anything negative on here, so I am going to try to just keep this factual and hope this isn’t too depressing!

So I’ll start with recapping my eating last week. I ate the whole foods starting last Tuesday to fit in with the Fat Flush diet. The only time I allowed myself a ‘treat’ was Saturday night at a holiday party I went to. I ate supper first before I went so I wasn’t hungry, and I nibbled on some very small portions of some treats but was able to stop and focus on socializing with people not the food. Also in the past week I haven’t skipped a bootcamp workout and I’ve drank a lot of water.

So after doing what I thought was a good job all week, you can imagine my utter dismay when I weighed myself and realized I had actually gained a pound! I just about died- here I made a public goal to lose weight and everybody knows about it, and I go and gain a pound! I wanted to throw the scale out the window. I think I stepped on and then off again three times because I just couldn’t believe what it said.

So all day long I walked around in a depressed funk. I am so embarrassed to admit that I gained weight when I was supposed to have already lost 2 lbs by now. So of course I’m feeling like a major failure already and I’m only a week into it. After moping around wondering why on earth I was stupid enough to post a goal publicly I finally decided I needed to blog about it. I was very hesitant to do this and admit my failure to you all but after thinking about it for a few days I figured I had to ‘fess up!

I’m pretty sure my goal of 8 lbs by Christmas is going to be next to impossible to reach. Maybe I should instead be focused on trying to lose inches around my waist instead of the scale. I have no idea why I have gained this week- I am wondering if it’s possible that because I’ve moved up to heavier weights at bootcamp maybe the muscle building process has me gaining? I sure hope the muscle gain will mean losing fat later down the road. I can only hope!

When I think about my inability to lose the weight, it brings back the all the same old frustrating thoughts. It seems like such a mystery to me most of the time… I do all the right things and I still can’t seem to lose. At times the scale has gone down I think I finally have it figured out but then I get stuck again or worse yet the stupid pounds creep back on. I am so tired of this emotional rollercoaster. I just don’t understand why sometimes it works and other times it doesn’t when I am doing the same exact thing.

On a positive note, another blog contributor, Donna has befriended me and checked in with me today. Upon hearing of my frustration she had wonderful words of encouragement so I was very grateful to hear her kind words. I’m feeling a little better about myself now, so I’m going to just keep trudging along. I just have to keep doing the “right” things, it’s all I can do at this point!