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What Would You Say?

By April 6, 2010 36 Comments

After about 2 months on the Fit Moms For Life Program, I like to contact everyone who is on the program to see how they are doing and if I can help them in any way.  I recently got this email back.  There is obviously a lot going on in the person’s life and I would like it if you could give her some words of advice or encouragement.  If you are someone who can relate to this, check out another article I wrote and all the amazing feedback I got from those of you who actively participate in our community.

Here was the email I received when I asked her how she was doing:

I was doing great except I had no results. I got discouraged and just stopped. I have not worked out for two weeks. Stress seems to take over for me. That is why I am fat in the first place. I have been working extra hours at work and have been using my workout time for the hours. I need to get back on track; however, disappointed with results. You see when I get stressed I eat. My son was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis 14 years ago. I had to be strong for everyone, so my leaning tool was food. Since that time through hardship and worry I have developed a habit of comfort through food. The stress does not go away and neither do the pounds.

I also feel I have problems with my thyroid. I have had test after test saying everything is okay, but my mom has hypothyroidism and I have at least 75% of the symptoms I got through your website. My temp. avg. is 96.7. My legs are disgustingly huge. I have vowed not to get into shorts or capris this summer. It is going to be one hot summer. They look awful. I know I am a great person and my body does not define who I am, but I just want to be fit and be an example, but I tend to give up if I do not see results.

I have a low self esteem and confidence issue when it comes to my appearance and health. I set goals with the program and not one came true. Nothing. I am obviously doing something wrong. I worked out three times a week and cut back on eating, but nothing. I felt better, but without results I could see and touch, it is hard. I hate my legs and I mean hate. People say boy your legs are fat. I have to wear low-rise socks and when I take them off where the compression was it looks nice, but everything else is just fat. It is like my skin is going to split. I have varicose veins and just disgusted. I did make an appointment with an endocrinologist in April, so we will see.

Right now I am just stressed over things being in order. You see if my house is not in order and by that I mean it is so out of order then I can’t relax and I do not sleep well, but I just do not have the motivation or energy to clean it. It is mainly my basement is out of control. The rest of the house is fine, but I work out in the basement. I am sorry I am just rambling on. I really love the program and the exercises, it is just me. I appreciate your program. It is like you really care about everyone, but I know you don’t have the time to address everyone. I can send you my before shots and measurements. I took them in a bikini so when I succeeded, I would have great before and after shots, but nothing, so I have not taken anymore. It is just gross. Everytime I get undressed, I am so disgusted. Even though people do not say it, I believe they are disgusted in me as well. I don’t like my body image, so how can anyone else.

You know what else is hard. I have to make different meals for everyone. My husband only eats good home cooked greasy meals. My son needs high fat high protein, high sodium meals and my daughter and I would like great tasting simple meals. I spend more time in the kitchen cooking and cleaning and then of course I try everything while preparing, so I know I am overeating. These are not excuses just battles. Fighting, but not succeeding. Someday, hopefully soon. I will start working out again this week. My plan is to conquer my basement this weekend, so if I can get organized I can get somewhere. I will have my appt. as well and we will see. I hope you are still getting the successes you want. Sorry, but you asked. This is just how I am feeling right now. Take are.

My response:

I really appreciate you responding and I am here to help! The first thing I would like you to do is write a food journal and email it to me after 1 week. I will take a look at it. From the email it seems like you have very negative beliefs about yourself which is causing self sabotaging to happen. You focus on the negatives and whatever you focus on will happen.  Try for 1 day to not dwell on any negative thoughts, when one pops into your head, tell your negative thought you appreciate it thinking of you today, but you aren’t going to pay attention to it.  Also start a gratitude journal and each night before you go to bed write down the things that you are grateful for in life, or specifics from that day.

It also sounds like you have a lot of stress in your life and that is most likely also contributing to things. I would have a sit down talk with your husband and figure out a way to make it so there is even sharing with the family work load.  I would also talk to a couple girlfriends and tell them your situation and see if they could watch the kids for you once a week for a few weeks in order for you to have some time just for yourself.

You are trying to fight a losing battle on your own and you need the support of others around you to make it happen and to help build you up.

I am glad you are seeing an endocrinologist. Let me know what comes of that.

Be in touch, and I am confident one day we will get to show of those before bikini pics with the new happier and healthier you!

Sincerely,

Dustin

Now it is your turn.  I know many of you are either in her situation now or have been there at some point.  What specifics would you share with her.  Thanks!